CYOA: NOW THIS IS MY KIND OF PARTY and PEARL IS A G

So I know in my last post I was complaining about how crappy Puritan "celebrations" seemed to be. And although shame parades sound just invigorating I am going to have to give the Black Man party the completely official Georgia seal of approval. This was just hilarious to me, the governer's sister just comes up to Hester and is all like, "Hey you are a pretty bad girl because you are an adulterous whore, wanna come to our Satan party? It will be lit, I promise." Like really? Who the hell in this little Satan cult thought it was a good idea to just ask people to their devil party without proper vetting first?!?! Considering that this is the high of the whole, EVERY WOMAN IS A WITCH THING!!! For all this woman knows, Hester could have just turned around and turned her in. This group really needs to rethink their strategies. I guess it comes back to bite her in the ass too because she ends up getting killed for being a witch so....


Another thing I have come enjoy is Pearl. I originally thought that I was going to have Pearl because I was afraid she was just going to be this annoying kid. But Pearl is the shit. This kid is like 6 and is just running around screwing everyone over, even her own mother. "Who made you, Pearl." Now let's see, I could tell them what they want to hear, ooooor I could be a brat and screw with them and say my mom picked me off a freaking rose bush. Imma do the latter. She also is super confident in herself. She can totally tell how much of a shady, bad dude Chillingworth is, so Pearl's solution is to throw a burr at him and run away because in her words, "But he cannot catch little Pearl!" I love this because 1.) Pearl threw a burr at what she believed to be the devil. A BURR, like that would do anything to Satan. 2.) She thinks that Satan could not possibly catcher her. Pearl you sweet, stupid child. You small child legs won't be getting you anywhere on a regular basis, now throw Satan in. Good luck kid. And finally 3.) She refers to herself in the third person. Georgia is a sucker for people that do this, she loves it.

She also doesn't take shit from anyone. She basically tells Arthur that he is a butt face because he will only stand with them on judgment day. How rude, he deserved that one. Now if only she had called him an egg...

Who even saidShakespearer has no talent needs to reevaluate everything in their life.