CYOA: Crappy Parades and Creepy Husbands

Puritan Massachusetts straight up sucked. I get that public humiliation was a popular form of punishment, but a parade, really? I get that the Puritans were not the best at having a good time, but their idea of parades was messed up. I don't know about you but shame parades are not my idea of entertainment... Who am I kidding, yes they are. Anyways, it is still a pretty bad parade. Besides crappy parades, they also shame her with having her wear a red A on her chest. OH, THE HORROR!!! Something that I truly appreciate about Hester is her stubbornness. The A is supposed to bring her embarrassment and shame but she really shoves that up everyone's asses by making that A pretty as hell. Girl has got some mean embroidery skills because people are envious of that golden guided A. I love when the main character is a strong woman who is also sly as hell. Unfortunately for her her day gets just a bit worse when her crazy estranged husband starts lurking around her shame parade. This poor woman cannot catch a break. My favorite part is that good old hubby shows up dressed as a native American. Like that isn't conspicuous at all. Just some white dude trying to play dress up at a shame parade. He then plays even more pretend when he is like, "Okay honey, I am going to make up a fake name so I can kill the dude that got your preggo." He also picks that best name ever, Chillingworth. I can just imagine some pompous British guys with a high pitched voice saying that name and no one taking him seriously. Hester seems oddly fine with this plan which I find a tad weird. He becomes suspicious of the hot young priest, who SPOILER ALERT, is the baby daddy.

So Chillingworth does what by far is the best thing I have read yet, stalks that scoundrel: FOR FIVE YEARS. This is just so entertaining to me. Five years... FIVE FREAKING YEARS. I just don't think I will ever get over that. 

Bonus: Every time I read Arthur Dimmesdale's name I can't help but think of the town from The Fairly Odd Parents.

Choose Your Own Adventure: Adulterous Whore Edition

I had always been intrigued by the Scarlet Letter, I had heard its praises from many a person. So being the lazy  curious kid I am, I decided to watch the movie. Usual this is an easy way to tell if I will be at all interested in the book. IT WAS A MISTAKE AND I AM SORRY. The Demi Moore version of this novel is terrible and please do not ever watch it. After being told that the movie is a terrible rendition, I felt a bit better that I was not just crazy and that the book was miles better in reality. The novel also was the inspiration for one of my favorite movies, Easy A. It may be a modern take on this classic novel, but it is better than the other movie. All of this was most definitely reasons in my decision to read it, but the most persuading one was that we are not going to be reading it in school. I had always taken for granted that because it was such a classic, I would read it in high school. If I had known we were not going to be reading it in class, I would most likely have read it earlier, but I guess now is the time.


As for the novel itself, so far I am enjoying it. The writing in a way reminds me of F. Scott Fitzgerald in that the words themselves are artfully chosen. The amount of effort put into the word choice is very evident. That alone make the book enjoyable, even if it had no plot at all, it would still be pleasant to read solely to embrace the beautiful writing. Fortunately for me, I am also enjoying the plot as well. I find that a novel that discusses taboo topics, such as adultery, are often not written up until recently. Even today it can be a topic that people like to avoid. So having this book be written in the mid-1800s seems pretty progressive to me. I also enjoy the story because it is still so prevalent today. The gossip and judgment that Hester is subjected to still happens far too often today. We like to think that we have progressed as a society to be more excepting, but adultery is still met with similar consequences, albeit less public.


BONUS: The portrait of the woman on the cover, who I assume is Hester, looks suspiciously similar to yours truly.

Ghostly pale, wavy dark brown hair (which she rocks, like me, in a middle part), smoldering looks (I am aware of the facial structure differences), a stare that looks done with your shit...