Thursday, December 3, 2015

NEWS FLASH! DMAC facts revealed in C Block!

According to DMAC, at his family Thanksgiving while his family argues over pie he slowly kills them off.

DMAC also does not believe in capitalism but rather communism.

DMAC ignores and discriminates against short brunettes named Sara.

DMAC is terrible at pronouncing things (ex. head = hid, says bullion, sounds like bullyin')

We are a slice of DMACs pie means he owns us.

DMAC's motto of "Greed is good," is proven when he tells us that he tries to benefit finically off of us, his students.


That's all for today.




Wednesday, November 4, 2015

bones is love, bones is life

the title pretty much says it all. more specifically booth x brennan is life, i mean come on look at these two dorks they are meant to be!


ugh i just can't even deal anymore. the sexual tension that builds up through the like eight seasons before they finally get together are almost unbearable! but it is worth it in the end 



Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Eyebrow Fleekness: an Important Part of Women's Lives Through History

In my English class we watched a movie called Rashomon. It was a movie made in Japan in 1950 that centered around the trial of a murdered rich man. There are 3 (but technically 5) stories that are told by different people as to what happened to the dead man. I thought it was rather good and would recommend watching it, but some of the other kids in my class would beg to differ. Anyways while I was watching it this came up on the screen.


Do you see why some people might giggle a bit? Well if not, I personally don't find it funny, but it is the eyebrows. They kinda look like hamsters. Now I'm not saying that in a mean way I am just stating a fact. Anyways something much more terrified showed up a little later in the movie...


So this might not be terrifying to some, but if you have ever watched the movie and seen this character's movements you would understand my reasoning for being a little scared of this. I mean watching this part of the story with the Physic without sound is just as terrifying with her moans and screams before the ghost of the dead guy starts to speak through her. Anyways, this got me interested, now a days having eyebrows that are so sharp you could shank someone with them is important to the majority of the female population, at least in America. So I decided to use the POWER OF THE Internet to find out about eyebrows through history. So here you are readers, my findings on the fashion evolution of the eyebrows.


Ancient Egypt
Both women and men in Ancient Egypt wore eye makeup as an homage to the god Horus and to ward off evil spirits and disease. Eyebrows were, of course, part of the look. Paired with kohl-lined eyes, shaved or tweezed eyebrows were darkened with gray or black powder made from galena, a lead-based mineral. The bust of Nefertiti (1345 BC) - one of the original bombshells, no doubt - shows the pharaoh's wife with dark, arched brows. And according to first-hand accounts from Greek historian Herodotus, when a cat died in a private home in Egypt, all inhabitants of the house would shave their eyebrows. 

And people complain about how much eye makeup
girls where today, they obviously haven't seen
Nefertiti over here.


Classical Period
So the Ancient Greeks had their own strange eyebrow rituals. Women used powdered minerals or soot to paint their brows black, and appeared to have preferred a unibrow (though it was primarily prostitutes who painted their faces). Eyebrows were also part of the Romans' elaborate beauty rituals, and like the Greeks, they favored a unibrow. Both cultures' poets and writers described women donning false brows to enhance their looks. These were made of dyed goat's hair and attached with tree resin. Kinda gross right?

So I tried to find a real picture for this but this is the 
best I could do.So I give you a statue with a fake unibrow.


The Unibrow
So since the last one was about a typically about a socially unexceptable way to wear your eyebrows so I though I would enlighten you more about it before we move on. It may be a major beauty foul in today's Western world, but the unibrow has been prized by cultures throughout history. A mosaic created in 548 A.D. depicts the Byzantine empress Theodora, wife of Justinian, with kohl-rimmed eyes and a well-defined unibrow. During the Qajar dynasty in Iran (1785-1925), connected brows were considered beautiful, and Mexican painter Frida Kahlo (1907-1954) iconically exaggerated her own unibrow in self-portraits. More recently, basketball player Anthony Davis (the 2012 NBA first draft pick) recognized the branding potential in his own distinctive unibrow by trademarking the phrases "Fear the brow" and "Raise the brow." I'll be first in line for those T-shirts!      


It's kinda like a harry caterpillar.


Imperial Japan
During the imperial Heian period in Japan (794-1185), the court beauty standard called for Rapunzel-long black hair, white powdered face, blackened teeth (yup), red lips and eyebrows shaved and redrawn high on the forehead in a hazy, cloud-like style. And here we are, I'm not even half way done and we have already arrived at what started this adventure. So here you are people it was essentially a way to show your status, even if they do look like hamsters.

I have read that women having a little bit of hair stuck
 in her mouth is sexy, but I don't think you're doing it right...

Medieval Times
Skinny brows were all the rage during medieval times in Europe, when women favored a pale, eggheaded look and plucked their hairlines to achieve it. The fashion continued through the reign of Queen Elizabeth I, whose bare brow and tweezed hairline enhanced the domed forehead and pallid complexion she painted with toxic white lead-based ceruse. During the 1600s, people rubbed walnut oil onto their children's eyebrows to inhibit hair growth. Man, good thing my mom never cared about how I looked as a child, I don't need gross chemicals all over my face.

I wanted to find a picture of an actual egg with like
 a Medieval-ish face drawn on it but alas, I could not find one.


Mona Lisa
Okay I know that the Mona Lisa isn't a time period and what I am about to talk about will most likely not protein to the other women during the Renaissance, but the Mona Lisa is typically regarded and is possibly the most famous woman in the world, whether you believe that she actually existed or not. You know what didn't exist though? Her eye brows. Seriously I never noticed this until I started reading up on this stuff and yah if you do look she had no eyebrows or eyelashes. So the real question is this: was this a statement created by Leonardo or was it that a sloppy curator accidentally removed them in a botched cleaning attempt?

Wait has she been wearing a vail that whole time?!?!

Interestingly enough there is yet another famous woman who doesn't have eyebrows that I never noticed until now. Whoopi!

She actually does it really well, I couldn't see her having them now.


17th-18th Centuries
Sorry that I don't know what the correct term for these two time periods, Google gave me a lot of different answers. Anyways, During the 17th and 18th centuries, bold brows made a comeback. The same fashionable European women who wore faux beauty mark mouches coveted bushy brows. Some would affix false eyebrows made from furry mouse skin to their faces, usually high up on the forehead, giving them a quizzical expression. Maybe Mona and Whoopi could use mice too, I mean who wouldn't want rabid rodents on your face?

Man this woman is the definition of pretentious. 
It's like she knows that I wear Target but say it's J. Crew.


Roaring 20s
The turn of the twentieth century brought commercially made cosmetics, including eyebrow fillers. In 1919, T.L. Williams created his Lash-Brow-Ine, inspired by his sister Mabel’s habit of applying Vaseline mixed with coal dust to emphasize her eyebrows and lashes. The product would later be christened Maybelline. Oddly enough I find this one to be one of the more odd ones because these women wanted their brows to be so thin that they were no where close to being similar. I know the saying that eyebrows are sisters, not twins, but these eyebrows look like second cousins once removed!

Dang girl, I know we are talking about brows but 
look at those bottom lashes! Get me some of that!


Fabulous 50s
During the 1950s, Dior’s polished New Look demanded to be worn with a put-together face. The look called for full winged eye makeup, lipstick and brows shaped in the Diva Arch, as seen on stars like Marilyn Monroe and Elizabeth Taylor. Another iconic ‘50s pair? Audrey Hepburn’s dark, straight brows, which epitomized the gamine look. I feel like this one has the least uniform look, up until now there was one way most women were doing their eyebrows but now there is the arch that you see in Roman architecture or flat as a dead mans heart rate monitor. 

There really isn't much to say here. These women are pretty much perfection. 
Even though Elizabeth and Marilyn did drugs. Did you know that some guy bought 
the spot under where Monroe's body is for like 4 million? 
Don't know how much he'll be able to enjoy it when he is dead though... 


Tidbit on the 60s
So I couldn't really find much on the brow style in the 1960s but I did find a little. So I don't really think I can describe it so I'll just show you.


Like really? This looks like how I would do my eyebrows when I was like 8. It just looks like she has like 20 individual eyebrow hairs, who thought this was a good idea? It just looks a little lazy to me, honestly though? I doesn't take away from her beauty because she is still stunning and it is not fair. 


"Interesting" 80s
Oh the 80s, where do I even begin? I know we are just talking about eyebrows but it is a notoriously bad time for fashion, and kinda every thing else. I mean the eyebrows aren't THAT bad but I think In combination with the clothes its just, ugh. They thinned out during the days of disco, but returned with a vengeance in the 80s, when stars like Brooke Shields and Madonna popularized the bushy look.

OH GOD NO. NO! God she really does look like a horse I'm sorry. But God what
 the hell happened to her? I mean the hair, the shirt the weird scarf 
thing on her head and those brows, ugh those brows. I take it 
back if everyone's brows looked like SJP's then I am surprised 
that the world did not come to an end during the 80s.



Getting Up to Speed
Brows up until a few years ago have been a train wreck, there is not pattern or type of brow that everyone wore, brows have alternately appeared big and bold or bleached to oblivion in fashion editorials and runway shows - sometimes both during the same season. For fall 2012, Chanel makeup artist Peter Phillips sent models down the runway with graphic sequined appliques affixed to their brows.

This looks like I asked a four year old to do my brows
 with only the arts and crafts stuff she had in her house.



Now
Okay so now we come to what I was saying earlier, women want brows sharp like daggers with an arch with like a 45 degree angle! Look some people and pull it off, but some people can't...

I'm gonna tell you right now, Rue Paul is 
gonna tell this dude to sashay away real fast.

According to plastic surgeon Dr. Jeffrey Epstein told the New York Post that 12-15 women every month are paying him $8,000 a pop for eyebrow hair transplants to make their brows look like actress Megan Fox's.

Damn it, I give up my eyebrows look like shit next to hers.




So there you have it, your complete guide to the history of eyebrows. This was actually really interesting an informative. So of these techniques where weird as shit and hilarious to think about actually doing, maybe more terrifying some times though... From what I gathered the earlier methods where mostly to show status and power, because let's be real women in early history had nothing better to do then sit around all day making themselves pretty. Starting at the turn of the century it became more about making statements. So dear reader, I hope you have enjoyed your lesson and have learned at least something, perhaps it is that next time you stop by Sephora to pick up that Anastasia Brow Whiz pencil and they are out, you can always use mice to keep your brows looking as fresh as Will Smith on Fresh Prince.

Until next time,

-G



p.s.
Ah yes and I will leave you with some of my favorite memes from the ever popular "Celebs Without Eyebrows" Many of them don't have teeth either but I think that really adds to the effect.


 












Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Why you should ALWAYS use the Oxford Comma

So as an add on to my last post and my love of commas I present you the reason that everyone should always use the amazingness that is the Oxford Comma


Nobody wants JFK and Stalin strippers, so please always use your commas kids.

This has been a PSA from your local foundation for Appropriate Comma use

-G

An Open Letter to Grammar

Dear Grammar,


I love you, but only when you are convenient to me. When you make no sense or make me look like a pompous ass for using you, I kind of hate you.


Best,
G


Okay so I wouldn't necessarily call myself a "grammar nazi," but I like to think I know something about grammar. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people either: use the wrong your/you're, there/their/they're, ect., or use the wrong verb tense. This is one of the reasons I can hardly stand parts of the internet. Let's be real people, you not using grammar or spelling things wrong on purpose isn't funny, nor will it make you seem cool. You just look stupid.


Although I love calling people out and making them look stupid, because I am just that kind of person, there are some points where grammar makes me cringe. Take my English class today, we were prepping for the PSAT. Our teacher was showing us examples of types of sentences (all of which were incorrect) that we would see on the test and how/why to correct them. There were the ones that made complete sense such wrong verb tenses and other cringe worthy mistakes that I don't remember the names of. But then, there are the ones that are complete and utter jack shit. Let me show you the two examples that I had the biggest problems with.


1.) The application for a new job was faxed by Ellen.
2.) Everyone gets their own pony.


I bet that most of you wouldn't think that there is any thing wrong with either of these sentences. And honestly I still don't. I'll tell you why they are wrong and why I think the fact that they are wrong is wrong, if that makes any sense.


1.) Okay so the problem with this one is that it is written passively, which according the the PSAT or any English major is wrong. If you don't already know writing passively is when in the subject is acted upon by the verb. Okay, some of you out there might have kept reading this over again, and again trying to figure out what is wrong with it. And to tell you, there really isn't anything wrong with it. It is grammatically correct, no the problem is the people over at the PSAT, along with English majors don't like it. You heard me right, its wrong because people don't like it. Okay fine I guess I can look past it, yah I guess I wouldn't want to read anything if it was always written passively, it would get kind of boring. What I can't get passed is the fact the in the directions for sections like that it is along the lines of choose how to best correct the sentence. Which is essentially saying that it is wrong in the first place. I mean I guess in the long run its not really a huge deal but it always is the little things that get me the most.




2.) In this sentence the subject is 'everyone,' which is singular, but later the same group is described by the word 'their.,' which is plural. So its a subject agreement thing. It should be 'Everyone gets his or her own pony.' I understand if you were describing a non-sentient beings/things, but in this case 'everyone' is describing an entity of people. Living, thinking, feeling, things. So in this case I just think that this rule is just straight up wrong.


In short, there are just some parts of grammar (more than I have shown here) that just rub me the wrong way.


-G


Oh yah, and also. Don't even get me started on commas man. I love me my commas and I'm going to use them whenever I want however the hell I want. So don't talk to be about this "comma splice" crap because I am not going to change that. Soooooooooo screw you!



so what is this?

so depending on who you are you may know that this blog is for my english class. it can be about anything i want so this i just kinda going to be about whatever. sometimes it will be serious, sometimes it won't. i have no idea if this will ever have a direction or will just be a place to put random crap, so sorry to mr. yee if half of this doesn't fall into the rubric all the time but i'll meet the minimum i promise.




anyways. for the most part i'll just me writing about stuff that happens in my life, whatever that may be.  maybe it will be my thoughts on something, rantings (probably about DMAC...), reviews of products (basic i know), recipes (i like food okay?), maybe an outfit of the day i'm feeling frisky! *insert side eye smirking emoji* 


so if for some reason you decide to actually read any part of this, thing, thank you? i really don't know what to say to anyone because i can't imagine why anyone would want to read this besides my teacher, and maybe charlotte because she seems to be obsessed with this. so until next time!

-G

p.s. the title of this blog is not meant in anyway to offend people of any religious background. it is just a joke, calm down people



now DMAC discriminates against drama kids

apparently i am the exact definition of a "drama kid" and that is a bad thing. so he won't let be draw lines on the board. wtf man?!?!?!?!?!?!?! HE ALSO HATES CIRCULAR VEN DIAGRAMS!!!!!!!!!

-G

DMAC discriminates against non creative non new york goers

He likes Julia a little and hates me. I find this extremely insulting. We should boycott him and his weird beliefs. He discriminates again dolphins and then LIES about thinking that he is "realistic." And this man claims to be a doctor. I think his doctorate is a forgery. Report this man to the authorities. That is all.

-G